90 day laura and gay blogger

Wow, thank you so much celebrating the end of my 90 day journey with me on my last post! I really felt like you guys were my girl friends giving me a big hug at the finish line of a marathon. I truly appreciate you soooooo much! You bring me so much joy! So, 90 day laura and gay blogger 1 was all the technical stuff.

My workouts, my food, my numbers, and my physical, external transformation. Part 2 is going to be all about the feels. At the end of this past summer, Sam and I had just finished a 3 day retreat, and on our way back to the airport, I broke down and started crying outta nowhere.

As Sam was driving, sadness overpowered my entire body and I became overwhelmed when I realized that I was not living the life I truly wanted. I felt lost, I felt stagnant, I felt fake, and I no longer knew who I was. I realized that I was no longer my true authentic self.

Being in the public eye for over 10 years, I began to say less and less because every time I said something, someone would be upset. When Blogilates started back inI was pretty much blogging 7 days a week! But as Blogilates got bigger and bigger, I became less and less vocal because I was afraid of making people unhappy.

I went from blogging 7 days a week to blogging maybe 7 days a year. So, overtime, I taught myself to hold back my real thoughts and opinions to keep people peaceful. After the plane ride home, I took some time to ask myself what I really wanted. And on August 16th, I decided it was time to make a big change.

I told Sam that I wanted to go on a 90 day journey to get in the best shape of my life physically and mentally. I told him that I wanted to document the entire journey on my blog in order to keep myself accountable. I knew a lot of people would be upset at how transparent I was about to get.

I knew that for myself, I needed to announce my goal weight and my goal body fat percentage in order to keep myself hyper focused. I personally like using numbers because they keep me honest.

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Plus they give me something to objectively work towards. BUT I knew that for the people going through body insecurity issues, talk of scales and weight would be upsetting — which I totally understand! But once I realized that I was allowing an inanimate object to have power over my self worth, I saw how ridiculous it was and stopping giving the scale so much control.

Instead, I began viewing the scale as just a tool that was there to help me collect data points. That right there is what really helped switch my mindset. Announcing my goals publicly was important to me because it gave me the accountability I needed to stay on track.

So after reviewing my plan with Sam, I made the decision to announce my 90 day journey publicly on August 16th. Some people were excited to follow along, some people were genuinely concerned about me relapsing into an eating disorder, but a surprising number of people were just straight up rude, mean spirited, and in some cases derogatory and hateful.

The comments being made about my character and my intentions me cry and feel really terrible about myself. But at the same time, the Blogilates brand value first and foremost is to help people find the joy in exercise.